Tiara Squad's Adventures in Hogwarts! Book one: The fire-cup
by fallsprophet
Summary: A group of friends, inside jokes, and a lot of dinking around leads to multitudes of crack. This abomination from hell was born by two non-cis people who had way too much fun writing this. Not quite crack, but you'll get a good laugh.
1. Chapter 1: circumlocution and flashbacks

Laughter and chatter floated through the air as a small group sat at the end of the long Gryffindor table, their voices just as loud as the others. One of the children was gasping for breath, their blonde head almost smashing against the table at a story their friend just told. The rest of the group was either laughing along or looking in confusion, ripped away from their own conversations.

Another head bobbed as he roared in laughter, the redheads to his both of his sides raising their eyebrows in amusement. Yes, it was nearly every day this happened; the giggling Ravenclaw found enjoyment with his tightly knit friends. The Slytherin at the table shook his head as he chuckled, burying his face into his palms. The brunette Hufflepuff watched in confusion, fretting over his friend when they hit their forehead on the table. The small Gryffindor who told the joke beamed in confidence, as he usually did when he got the laughter that covered the room.

"W-wait, wh-hat?! Your brother really did that?!" The blonde came back from their laughing fit, holding their stomach as they turned and coughed.

"Yep. He really shoved a cucumber down his pants," the smaller boy looked on in pride, not even pretending to be ashamed at the fact.

"Hey, hey, do you guys remember," the Hufflepuff boy took a pause, directing the attention to himself, "the first day we came? And - and none of us knew each other but then this guy over here," he pointed towards the Slytherin, "all of a sudden yelled out

'Satan!'" He continued on, bringing each of the friends back to their first day at Hogwarts.

 _Emmanuel gazed at the ornate interior of the castle. Boys and girls around him frolicked without a care, and here he was, standing there like a tree in a desert. An odd sight to see. One standing all alone._

 _In a desperate attempt to find any companion, anyone to be with at this point in time. So, he approached someone with an oddly similar hairstyle to his._

" _H-hey, you got cool hair," he sputtered out from the chatter surrounding them both._

 _The person jumped in surprise, looking behind them. Emmanuel started to get nervous as they stood there, staring at him, but a sudden smile broke out on the person's face. "Thanks! I really like yours, too! My name is Sevan, nice to meet you!" The shorter of the two, now dubbed Sevan, smiled wide at the taller boy. "What should I call you, and what are your name things?"_

 _Emmanuel smirked a crooked grin, showing off his pearly teeth. "Oh, I'm Emma— ...er, I'm Emmanuel. You mean... I go by 'he', thanks. What are yours, Sevan?" He beamed wildly, his shyness diminishing._

 _The blonde looked up in surprise, their smile falling as their eyes shown in adoration. "'T-they'. I-I use 'they'," a small, genuine smile shown on their face as the peered through the top of their glasses at the boy._

 _Emmanuel stuck up two thumbs at them, tucking his chin in and scrunching up his eyes._

 _A yell of Sevan's name snapped them both out of the stupid laughter they had fallen into, the panicked voice shouting out into the crowd. The blonde broke into a dead sprint for the boy's voice, trying to reach him as fast as they could. "Gabe!" Emmanuel followed suit, in fear of losing his newfound colleague._

 _A small bundle of black on the floor stopped him in his tracks as he viewed the scene before him._

" _I-I'm s-sorry I-I-I didn't mea-an to l-l-leave y-you...!" The blonde cried as they covered the other boy in their arms._

" _N-no, it's f-fine, I just..." The younger of the stopped mid-sentence as he noticed the boy behind his friend. The boy stood with a slightly confused expression. "Wh-ho is...?" He curled in closer to Sevan, trying to hide behind the blonde as they slowly rose from the ground._

 _The new arrival shifted on his feet, tugging at his shirt to hide the small breasts better. "I'm Emmanuel. Hello!" He waved his hands excitedly._

 _The brunette waved back shyly, hunched over behind the shorter child. "Emmanuel, this is Gabe! He's pleased to meet you!" Sevan butt into the conversation, introducing the mousey boy._

 _The moment was broken by a sudden shout of "SATAN!" An olive skinned, tall, dark brown haired boy was running over fiercely, while a small, pale, moley boy tried his hardest to catch up. Sevan jumped in surprise as they heard the yell over the crowd. They leapt into action, spreading their body across the taller boy behind them. All the while Emmanuel was standing whilst looking rather amused by this whole ordeal. Taking in each moment._

" _You!" the olive skinned male pointed a long finger at Emmanuel._

" _Me?!" he questioned, eyes growing wide._

" _Yeah, you, Satan, what're you doing with Sevan," he spat, standing tall over the boy. A solemn expression crossed his face. His glasses shining in the oil lamp's amber glow, making it impossible to see his eyes._

 _A twisting smirk tugged on Emmanuel's lips. "D-did you just call me Satan?" he inquired, trying greatly not to laugh._

" _Yeah," he snarled, "because you are Satan."_

 _Oh, I haven't heard that remark before, thought Emmanuel sarcastically._

" _Anyone who hangs with Sevan without my permission is instantly the devil."_

 _Emmanuel sighed. It was odd, he didn't mind being called the embodiment of sin. "Sevan, is this chick bothering you?" the brute of a boy, despite his slenderness, asked to his longtime friend._

" _Jaron, dear... He," Sevan put emphasis on the pronoun, "isn't bothering me. It's all good, you don't have to worry 'bout me, you know? We aren't exactly children anymore!" The blonde kid chuckled as they slapped the stomach of the giant._

" _Geez, fine," Jaron rolled his eyes, flashing a grin at Sevan. He accepted Emmanuel as a new companion, for Sevan knows all who can be trusted. Their judgement is undoubtable._

" _Jaron!" Gabe gasped out dramatically in greeting, still standing behind Sevan's back. "You didn't forget about me, did you?!"_

 _Jaron thrusted his luscious, emo hair in a majestic flip from his eyes. "Of course I didn't. Sevan sticks with you like glue, I can't find them without finding you." the olive skinned green bean turned his head to the side and mouthed 'fuck' silently._

" _Yeah, Jaron," Emmanuel stuck his dainty hands on his hips, "Don't forget about Gabe." He sure caught on quick. Anyone looking in couldn't have thought that he had just became friends a mere 20 seconds ago._

" _See? Even Emmanuel gets it! Anyways, who's the kid?" Sevan looked down in confusion at the boy next to their friend._

" _My name's Lliam!" The boy stated as he smiled at the group of four._

 _The group went around, introducing themselves before a middleaged woman with a pointy hat and black robes stepped forwards from the sea of children. The woman split the sea like Moses, the ocean of prepubescents dividing into two halves, giving her enough room to make her way through._

" _Children," she spoke loudly, silencing the smaller humans. "Please follow me." The woman turned with a fwoosh of her robes and stormed off. A herd of children following._

 _Two doors gave way to the dining hall, revealing the enchanted ceiling and older students. The first years walked across the room, following the older lady to the front of the room. Lliam and Gabe stared in wonder at the ceiling, both growing up in muggle or semi-muggle households. The other three simply looked on. Breaking through the crowd was a voice of a young girl, no doubt showing off her knowledge to another friend about the enchantments on the ceiling._

 _The room became silent as the woman grabbed their attention, finally introducing herself as Professor McGonagall. She stated how she was going to go about the process of assigning the children to their houses, simply by calling their names and placing a hat on their heads._

 _Emmanuel cocked his head, confused by the strange way of sorting children. Oh, how he hoped he would stay with his new friends. Sevan felt the same way. They crossed their remaining fingers (the other tightly gripping Gabe's hand), in a desperate attempt to turn fate their way. Jaron merely crossed his arms, taking in the scene._

" _I will now select the first child." Professor McGonagall extracted forth a scroll from thin air, with a flick of her thin wand. She shouted a random name, nobody from the group. Actually, it was practically hours before Gabe was called._

 _He gulped in surprise when he heard his name. The grip on his hand loosened. Gabe shot a glance over at Sevan, who beamed to augment the situation positively._

 _Gabe broke their connection, and took his place on the seat where he would be sorted by the hat. Said hat was in McGonagall's hand, ready to be set on the brunette's head. A silence spread out through the hall, each house waiting to see if they would have a new recruit. A few seconds passed before a loud yell rang into the room._

" _HUFFLEPUFF!" Said house started to clap as Gabe got down from the chair and did an awkward half - run, half - shuffle over to the table._

 _The remainder of the group was sad to see him go, but the possibility of joining still existed, so their spirits stayed high. As if on queue, Professor McGonagall called up Jaron._

" _God, why me," he hissed under his breath, taking his place away from the crowd. The same routine followed, the hat was placed on his head. The accessory pondered for a bit, then shouted "SLYTHERIN!" Barks of triumph erupted from the table._

 _After another crowd of people, Sevan was finally called up. They sharply inhaled, but slowly exhaled as they started to move from their frozen spot. Emmanuel's face sunk ever so slightly, but he still cheered them onwards. Sevan slowly moved their small body towards the front, nerves settling in. If they were taken away from Gabe...! They gulped and sat down, small fingers gripping their skirt. Ten seconds hadn't even passed when they heard a shrill call of "HUFFLEPUFF!" in the room. Claps resounded as the child bounced over to their friend, throwing a thumbs up to the two left to be sorted._

 _Lliam was next. He strode up with confidence, ready for whatever the hat threw at him. Of course, with this kind of courage, there was only one place he could go: Gryffindor._

" _GRYFFINDOR!" And went he did. Claps and whistles broke through the silence as the miniscule boy did an awkward duck run over to the table filled with other lions._

 _At last, the final one. Emmanuel's knuckles turned white from how hard they were scrunched together. His brows were knit together, and he slouched in a way to hide himself._

 _Professor McGonagall issued him to the spot. The hat was thrusted onto his cranium, causing him to flinch. He wrung his wrists and shifted his ankles. He couldn't be alone, he just couldn't! Emmanuel felt his new friends were special, and needed to be held onto._

 _The hat mumbled under it's breath. "I'm pretty torn," it said. "Hmmmmmmmmm…" he thought, 'hmm's and 'hahh's. Then shouted at once: "RAVENCLAW!" Like the others, shouts and whooping exploded forth from the table. Though many were deep into books._

 _With the squad divided, there wasn't much room for development. Although, Emmanuel and Sevan were determined to build their friendships._


	2. Chapter 2: shit bout to go down

Snapping back, the group realized that lunch had ended, and all the houses started to stand to go towards their classes. Being the beginning of the year, the fourth years could easily tell the first years from the rest of the crowd. Sevan, being the nice Hufflepuff they are, started towards a group of the small children before Jaron grabbed their robe and pulled them to their next class, Potions.

"Come on, you have to go defend yourself," Jaron spat in disgust, irritated just by the thought of any of his friends getting hurt. "But at least you'll be protected by Satan, that's good." Jaron flung the child towards Gabe and Emmanuel, going over to join up with Lliam for their Potions class. The Ravenclaw was kissing his two identical lovers goodbye, then headed off to his own class.

"Well," Sevan sighed, fixing their robe, "ready for some defense?" Gabe nodded as they carried their books to the next class, Emmanuel hurrying to catch up with the Hufflepuff's quick footsteps.

"I hate leaving Gred and Forge..." Emmanuel stuck out his lower lip, looking behind him to try and see their fiery locks in the bustle of students. He shook off his abandoning of his odd companions, and focussed on conversing with Sevan. "Wonder what we'll be doing today," he thought out loud.

"Probably something I'm not good at. Defense is hard. Just from knowing you, and you being a Ravenclaw, I wouldn't doubt that you would win in a duel any day." The blonde stared at their friend in adoration. They always admired how he was so great in all of their classes.

Emmanuel giggled, knowing all too well the nights spent revising his friend's essays and such. He was their go-to study buddy. "You're plenty decent at... This stuff, whatever _big nose_ calls it. Whimsical is he, in a bad way. I think he's just glad I'm nothing like my babes."

"I think we're all glad about that..." They mumbled under their breath, shaking their head as if to clear their thoughts. "Seriously, though. I really admire you in Charms! If not for you, I would have failed that class before I even started it," Sevan sighed loudly as they reached the DADA classroom. "Oh no... I can smell my failure from here."

"It'll be fine," Emmanuel reassured and slammed his back onto the door to open it. Giving way to the crowded classroom. Children were literally bouncing off the walls, which must mean Mad-eye Moody isn't here yet. "Score!" he yelled excitedly, nearly tossing his books onto the three's shared desk. Yet he did not mingle with the other students. Over the years, the 'Tiara Squad' and their bond has grown tighter than the average families. The members don't have to branch out too much.

The other set their books down, reasonably more gentle than the former, and sat down on the given chairs. They attracted the normal attention towards themselves, the odd mix gaining the interest of others often. A group of friends from all houses was just... unheard of, frankly. Really, who heard of the nefarious Slytherins having friends outside of their own house? Adding on, a prestigious looking Hufflepuff and another who tends to look slightly monotonous or loopy or angry or all at the same time? A Ravenclaw, whose boisterousness and intelligence go neck and neck in vastness? And what's with that short Gryffindor that steals people's food?

They were a sight to behold, but they were tight-knit and would do anything for one another. Their bond was stronger than even the _Golden Trio's_. The Golden Trio had been through everything together, but everyone who knew the coterie would agree - they were like siblings separated at birth.

The door made a loud bang, instantly shutting up all of the students and making them sprint for their seats. "Oh my lord!" Emmanuel planted a hand firmly on his heart. He nearly jumped out of his skin.

Staggering inside was none other than Mad-eye Moody, the DADA professor for the time being in Hogwarts. His eye scoured the room, staring in intense denouncing disgust. "Filthy kids like you," he grumbled loudly, "should already be in your seats!"

"But the bell hasn't even rung yet," murmured a student from another corner of the room. Surely he was suicidal.

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER, MCCALLISTER! YOU MUST BEHAVE AS A RESPONSIBLE STUDENT, WHETHER THE BELL HAS RUNG OR NOT YOU BLOODY IDIOT!"

Everyone held their breath. "Starting early today, huh," Gabe whispered lightly. Both nodded in solemn agreement.

Not even half an hour later, a little over one fourth of the students were either beat, sent to Dumbledore, or teleported to God knows where. Sevan gripped Gabe's hand and Emmanuel's sleeve tightly. The latter only relished this luxuriating entertainment.

Moody glanced over in their direction, pausing a second before looking away with a sneer. The three let out the breaths they were holding, exhaling into the quiet of the room. They small group situated their quills and notepads, ready for their last class of the day to be over.

"Haaaaaaaah!" Sevan let out a loud sigh as their small group met up with the last two, fully putting together their Squad. "Why does he insist on giving so much homework?! I mean, yeah, I expect it from the man, but why can't he be unpredictable and just - you know, _not_ give us homework?" Jaron was smirking as the shorter finished their rant, happy with the suffering of his friend. A loud clatter disrupted whatever Gabe was going to say, re-directing the Squad's attention down the hallway where, low and behold, Draco Malfoy was picking on a Hufflepuff First-Year. Sevan's face twisted into a frown, and they stomped, muttering angrily towards the other blonde.

"Draco Malfoy, you little ferret! Stop picking on her!" The older Hufflepuff cried out, standing defensively - arms crossed, white knuckles, and a touch of defiance added to the recipe with a heated stare - in front of the little girl. Gabe and Lliam came to stand on their left and right sides, with Jaron and Emmanuel came to stand behind Draco and his two lackeys - Crabbe and Goyle. This was their normal fighting stance, and everyone knew it too - with three in front and two in the back, especially with all of the houses benefits, they were a force to be reckoned with.

"Oh? And what are you going to do, stupid little Salamander?" Draco leered towards the shorter, meaning to intimidate and ultimately failing. Another thing about the Squad, around the school, they each had different names, for reasons unknown to even them. The names just... showed up one day, is all. Sevan was, respectively, Salamander, but they were also commonly referred to as 'The Queen'. Gabe was 'The Prince', and Jaron was coughs asshole the Master or 'The Knight'. Lliam was Subordinate (Sub for short) or 'The Jester'. Emmanuel was, of course, Satan, but he was also known as 'The King'.

Draco's comment only seemed to egg the group on as they each took a small step or two forward, though the only one to reach for their wand so far was Jaron. This was yet another fact about the group. Even though they would all take the unwavering consequences for each other, Jaron was usually the one to lean more towards the risk taking. Emmanuel sent a fearsome glare to the two behind the blonde Slytherin, making them run away with their tails so far between their legs you would think they were coming out the front end. Draco was the only one left of the three, and all five in the group could see the layer of sweat on the cowards face.

"You know what! She deserved it! The idiotic _Hufflepuff_ ," he spoke the word as if it were laced with poison, "crashed into me! She made me drop all of my books, and for that she needs to apologize!"

Sevan's skirt bunched as their fingers weaved through the soft fabric, knuckles turning white as they tried to stop themselves from outright _murdering_ the boy for disrespecting their house. Just as they were about to unleash their fury, though, thumps rang throughout the hallway as four sets of footfalls reached everyone involved ear's. Right around the corner was the head of each house - Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Severus Snape, and Pomona Sprout. No one doubted they were headed for the current group, and the five shuffled to look innocent (Jaron was the only one who really had to do anything - he just put his wand back in it's holder on his forearm). Draco was either suicidal or deaf, because he didn't move from his spot, snarling all the while. If the furious looks coming the group's way were any indication, someone was going to be in trouble.

The four teachers stopped outside of the circle, standing near their house students.

"Ahem," Emmanuel stepped forward, knowing he was the teacher's pet, the Squad's punishment wouldn't be overly excessive in severity. "We were simply intervening on this boy's mistreatment of this girl." He smiled widely. Good friends cover each other's asses.

Professor McGonagall knew all too well of Emmanuel's grades, his academic excellence, and his aptitude for good behavior. Though it was odd to see him confronting another student. She nodded at the boy.

Come to think of it, each one of the teachers in the group's presence knew of his achievements, and his dependence on correctness. They all trusted him deeply.

"I believe this will just have to be let go with a warning," Professor McGonagall chimed. Draco smirked wickedly at Emmanuel. He himself knowing of the high-strung boy's attachment to not failing. "Draco, don't let this happen again."

This time, Emmanuel grinned mockingly. He brushed past Draco, after thanking his teachers of course. The rest of The Squad following as they headed to cheer on Emmanuel in his Quidditch practice.


	3. Chapter 3: you got it bb

The week sped by fast, and soon enough The Squad found themselves sitting their last class of the day on Friday. Sevan furiously took in everything their Professor was saying about Ancient Runes as Emmanuel resided on the other side of the school, painting on a canvas as it was his next assignment for the currently unofficial class - but really, who could say that anymore? Way too many children were tucked into this room.

He hummed a little song, from some band called... What was it... Douche Mode? He took a few dabs of paint, spread it around. Nothing he wasn't too foreign to. The professor said to paint what represents Hogwarts to you. A vague statement lead Emmanuel into severe panic, without proper instructions on what the assignment entailed, all hell would break loose.

Besides that, he instantly knew the answer to that question. What _is_ Hogwarts to him? Easy, The Squad and his friends. Long within his piece's developments, he asked the professor if he would get it back. For he loved it so much, and would make one hell of a gift in the future.

Being famously intelligent lead to fantastic privileges. Emmanuel could leave early if he needed. He could slink away, undetected. The mentors trusted him greatly.

He raced down the halls, tie flying behind him. Once he reached where Sevan was, he silently flung open the door. In a flurry of out-of-breathness, he threw himself beside them.

"So," he breathed, "How's Ancient Runes?" Nobody even bothered to notice the new arrival's presence.

Sevan kept writing furiously, trying to keep up with translations that they knew they would need for later. "Good, good. How was painting?" Sevan glanced through their eyelashes at the younger boy before hurriedly turning back to their notes.

Around this time of day, this time of week, Emmanuel gets anxious. Fidgety. Mostly because his two lovers, the infamous Weasley Twins, didn't share classes with him on Fridays. Aside from Quidditch. He cracked his knuckles, staring at the clock. Knowing better than to interrupt Sevan any further.

After another 15 minutes or so, the school wide bell rang, signalling the day to be over. Sevan let out a long exhale, slamming their head down on their desk to rest for a few seconds before they had to gather their supplies. Using a simple spell, they floated all of their things together and brought everything over to themself. Sevan slowly stood up, looking over to Emmanuel who was patiently standing, waiting for his friend. "Welp," Sevan sighed, "ready for the rest of the day? Only Quidditch for you and Ancient Studies for me."

Emmanuel nodded, prancing alongside Sevan. "Draco's an ass, isn't he?" he struck up mild conversation as they sauntered to their next activities. "Thinks he's all that. Those are the type of people I hate, people who don't care about school. Just social lives, being one step ahead of everyone else. I mean, who cares?"

Sevan made a weird, strained noise as they saw the one they were talking about come their way. "I mean... yeah, he's a straight up _douche pants_ but it's not like you can totally blame him? Have you ever even _met_ his father?"

He only rolled his eyes. "So what, it doesn't matter. I know, some psychology plays a part, and whatnot, but he's just an irritable seabass either way." He scrunched up his nose at the thought of the blonde.

Sevan didn't like talking about others, so they just let out a high pitched noise and glanced over to Draco. Hopefully he hadn't heard...

"What are you talking about, over here?" Well shit. Sevan just shakes their head and tries to pull Emmanuel away from the Slytherin Prince. The other three boys currently weren't here, and Sevan always felt insecure when they didn't have all of the support they could get.

"Oh, nothing. You insufferable-" Emmanuel was shut up by a hand slapped over his mouth. Sevan always knew what he was gonna say. The only one with a skirt gave the younger yet taller boy a look before taking their hand away. Emmanuel kept his mouth shut, but still sent a fierce glare at the blonde boy they were quickly resceeded from.

Alas! Rejoice! Weekend has come! Students of Hogwarts are free to do what they please. Well, mostly what they please. The Squad could be found frolicking around in the courtyard. Acting like the children they were. God knows we all need a moment like that.

Emmanuel threw his ammunition at Jaron, which was finely sharpened diamonds. He threw twigs back, hurling threats of maiming and torture. The others watched and laughed. Not unusual.

Sevan snacked on some random cereal, a benefit of being in Hufflepuff. The common room was directly next to the kitchens, and after four years of studying and watching their seniors, they knew when the best time was to get their favorite food item. Their long sleeved sweater protected them from the chilled breeze outside, and the feeling of wearing their own clothing after a week of uniforms was the best feeling.

Jaron had managed to hit Emmanuel repeatedly with a longer branch. All the while giggling like hell. Gabe, who was perched beside Sevan, counted each strike. Once Jaron's arms got tired, or he thought Emmanuel was properly whipped, he shouted: "88 Combo!" and promptly made a move to fake cut off Emmanuels head and stab him through the stomach.

In the silence that followed, Sevan whispered: " _Fatality_."

Emmanuel's 'corpse' only collapsed with a stoic expression. Totally done with this shit.

"You had to pull the Kombat Kard, didn't you, Sev?!"

"Of course I had to! Why not?! It was the _perfect_ moment!" Sevan laughed as their cereal was finished off.

Emmanuel stared blankly at them, mouth slightly agape. "I'm fucking done. So fucking done. Shit," he mused, throwing the remaining twigs and diamonds and wherever. With a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. "FUCK THIS SHIT!"

The rest of the group laughed at the exchange, noticing the two walking over. After a bit of inspection, though, they also noticed a trio poorly following behind the two older Weasleys. _The Golden Trio_. The three were trying their hardest, but they just... weren't trying hard enough.

As the two redheads greeted the five, Sevan kept an eye on the group from their grade. Emmanuel, of course, assumed his position in between the twins. He nuzzled their arms, which were locked with his. Sevan could - just barely - contain their squeal as they watched the three boys.

"'Ello love," Fred... Or was it George? Whatever; _one_ of them began.

"You ran off without us," the other finished.

Emmanuel snorted. "I thought you were following me."

"We told you to wait, darling."

"Yeah, we told you to wait, 'cause these little guys were joining us."

Emmanuel directed his attention to the three behind him. He wasn't too close to them. Aside from Ron, that is, who would no doubt end up being a brother-in-law to in the near future. Though, at this point in life, he is nothing more than a friend.

He knew Hermione, however. Often times they would connect in the library to study. Each time they met up, he would call her a traitor for her Ravenclaw caliber intellect. Although, he noticed her bravery and individualism, courage and vigor. Which made her be a Gryffindor. Same with the other two beside her. But their grades were dust, especially Ron's.

"Afternoon, kids!" Emmanuel beamed widely.

Ron cocked his head. "We're the same age as you, Em," he stated.

"Not mentally, Ronald."

Sevan blew air through their teeth, crumpling the bag that had held the cereal. "Ooh, sick burn." They licked their finger and stuck it on Ron's arm, making a sizzling sound. Gabe chuckled as Jaron looked at them with his usual 'what the fuck are you doing' face. Lliam just shook his head at the horrible being that was his friend.

"Fred, George, tell your boyfriend to say sorry!"

Emmanuel's eyes widened admiringly. There was nothing Emmanuel despised more than people who refused to use the right pronouns. To hear being called boyfriend, from someone who'd never addressed him as such - much less a boy - was a wild notion.

"I'm so glad you're my future brother-in-law." Emmanuel dragged a hand over his eyes, wiping a fake tear from his face. Ron rolled his eyes, smiling. He wanted to say, "It's mutual."

After a few minutes of casual chatter, Hermione directed her attention to Emmanuel. Who was regarded, not to his attention, as an enigma.

"Emmanuel, are you naturally blue haired?" she inquired curiously, gazing at his curly, frizzy floof of sky blue in awe.

He tugged at his turquoise hair, puzzled. "Obviously not, though I wish. How I wish. The stars did not foretell it."

"What color is your hair originally?"

"Shitty dark brown, fucking cocoa beans on my head."

The surrounding children chuckled at his hatred towards his tresses' pigmentation. Sevan looked on through the booming giggles, and secretly wanted to dye their hair, to follow Emmanuel's lead. Perhaps they would do that in the future. If only professional jobs didn't cost so much.

Sevan sighed and shook their head, chasing the thoughts away. They looked up to Emmanuel, but money was definitely a problem. Sevan smiled again, their internal struggle going unnoticed by everyone else.

Emmanuel snuggled into his boyfriends as the group came to a slow stop from their laughter. He glanced around the group, from his boyfriends to his (hopefully) brother-in-law, then to the rest of the Golden Trio and lastly to his squad. Lliam's small form slayed across the grass, Jaron perched next to him, knees up to his chest and arms around his shins. Gabe sat behind Sevan, the smaller form - which, by the way, made Emmanuel giggle a bit when he saw that the blonde was drowning in their knit sweater - between his legs.

A thought struck him: even though this group, _his_ _Squad_ , was only in fourth year... What were they going to do after Hogwarts? He knew that Sevan was debating on where to go - the Muggle world or the Wizarding world - but everyone would accept them either way. Jaron was already set: he would be the next head of the Lacey house. Lliam and Gabe were currently undecided.

But...

 _But what did Emmanuel want to do?_


	4. Chapter 4: its no good

"I HATE MONDAYS!" Sevan's loud groan into their pillow startled the rest of the girls in the shared room. The four awake in the room laughed while the other four either groaned in agreeance or threw their pillows at the form.

"At least we're not Ravenclaw or Gryffindor? They have Potions first hour Mondays." One of the awake girls, Mamrie, spoke.

"But Mames! We have _History_!" Sevan's body flailed under their blankets, stopping the efforts of Mercedes as she went to pull the body out of the bed. When Sevan eventually stopped whining about their first world problems, though, the girl harshly tugged the thick comforter from the small body.

Sevan sighed loudly, fumbling their hand towards the bed side table for their glasses. One they slipped them on, they routinely ran their hand over the named carved into the wooden bed post. It was Hufflepuff tradition to carve your name into your bed, and every year you made a tally mark to signal that this was your bed for the rest of your time at Hogwarts. They smiled, put on their robes (all of the people in the room had known each other for four years - no one cared about each other's bodies anymore), and headed downstairs to meet up with Gabe.

Meanwhile, Emmanuel's plunders inside the bathrooms were keeping him from getting out early to see his babes. He bound his chest tight with a binder. He curses the well-endowed nature of his family, but still manages to flatten his chest to an exceptional extent. Emmanuel smiles at his work, turning from side to side. There was a knock on the bathroom.

"Emmanuel? You okay buddy?" Bobert inquired from outside the room.

Emmanuel hissed. "Yeah, fine, be out in a minute!" he hollered in reply. He pulled his dress shirt over, and swiftly covered the tattoos on his shoulders. Actually, they weren't tattoos - yet. Sevan drew him many years ago, on a sort of calendar, with the numbers 13 and 14 ending up on his shoulders. Ever since then, he'd draw 13 on his right shoulder, followed by 14 on his left with ink.

He threw on his Ravenclaw themed sweater vest, and called it good. But wait, where's his pants?

"Well, fuck."

He had to find a way to get a way out, without his non-existent junk to be seen. He was just in his blue briefs, and a shirt. Quite a sexy combination, but only his two companions could enjoy this. No towels, nothing. He remembered he'd left his wand on his bedstand. He had to time this well.

"Shit. Shit, fuck this."

He frantically scoured the room for anything.

That's it!

The window!

Emmanuel knew the exterior and interior of the castle inside and out. He knew that the Gryffindor Boys dorm was just southwest of that window. He hopped out without a thought.

With many close calls to his doom, Emmanuel made it to the windowsill of the lion's male dorm. The trip over wasn't long, since he'd done this so many times. It was a wonder no wandering eyes didn't see a half-naked transman climbing his way to another window.

"Hey, dorks!" he shouted outside the window's glass. "Lemme in!"

Luckily, Ron and Harry were there. Ron's expression flashed between confusion, shock, and utter embarrassment. For they were also getting their coture together.

"Emmanuel, what in the bloody hell are you doing?" he dragged his friend from the window, with Harry's help. Despite Emmanuel being the same age as both of them, he still ended up towering over them - but didn't reach the twins in height. Just a notch above average.

"I was getting dressed in the bathroom and I - oh, shit, I forgot to let Bobert in! Anyway, I didn't have any pants so I came here through the window, that's my story." He explained while rummaging around for a clean pair of pants, that'd fit them. The house's pants in their uniforms were all the same, so no worries here. "Boys, where're my babes?" Emmanuel asked suddenly.

It took both to respond for a second. "Well, um, they went off looking for you. You usually show up about now," Harry answered.

"Looking to snog, I bet," whispered Ron.

Emmanuel only smiled, knowing all too well that was true.

"Ah-ha!" At last he had found a pair. Didn't matter whose.

After some time, Emmanuel raced down the stairs to get to the Ravenclaw common room, where his boyfriends were usually waiting outside.

"'Ello boys!" Emmanuel chimed, prancing with his heterochromic socks on the floors. His shoes would show up sometime.

"Emmanuel! We've been waiting-"

"Where were you?" The two spun to place an arm around each of the boy's shoulders.

Emmanuel sighed, taking in their warmth. "I got stuck in the bathroom, didn't have any pants. Call me Captain Fuckshit, whatever, so I ninja'd my way to your dorm. The fucking end! It's all good though."

"So, you're trying to tell us-"

"That your pants are stolen from another man's closet?"

" _How scandalous_!" The read-heads lead the eccentric Ravenclaw towards the Dining Hall. "Wait-" One stopped, as did the other, "do you have your wand?"

"OH FUCK!" Emmanuel pulled out his pockets, poofed his floof even further. "It's still up there, shit!"

He nearly broke into a sprint, before that, he glanced at a clock. 14 minutes till class starts. Good.

"We gotta go fuckin' get it!" Emmanuel gripped both boyfriend's hands and dragged them with.

As they reached the eagle, Emmanuel eagerly stood and waited for the riddle.

" _Why was six afraid of Sevan?_ "

"Because Sevan ate nine, duh."

The entrance was clear. Emmanuel smiled at his riddle-solving. He turned to his lovers, and walked backwards into the common room. "I'll be back," he chirped. Then traveled into the common room, and waved to the other Ravenclaws, jumping down the stairs to his designated room.

His wand was sitting next to his bed, his shoes conveniently placed under the night stand. Emmanuel giggled and bent down for his shoes, sitting on his bed for leverage. He jumped up, sliding his wand into it's holder, and dramatically flung on his robe.

He headed back up the stairs, amazing the younger Ravenclaw crowd currently huddled in the common room. His bright sky blue hair mixed with his graceful walk down the steps would put anyone into a stupor. Then-

He tripped.

Once Emmanuel made his way past the giggling first years, he re-knocked and slid out, seeing Lliam try to sneak up on his babes. The three were later than usual, so it was only natural that they would meet up with the rest of the Squad on the way to the Dining Hall.

After Lliam's failed attempt at scaring the two older boys, the four men traversed lazily through the halls towards where they would be eating. Fred and George kindly held the door open, with Lliam going first because he's a smol beb and Emmanuel following behind. Sevan and Gabe were already sitting at the Hufflepuff table, along with most of the girls from their house. (The blonde waved.) Hufflepuff's were morning people, after all. Mornings were usually spent at the Hufflepuff because of the warm, homey food and the warmer people. Most houses in the mornings were lively, but nothing compared to a badger morning.

Lunches were always at the Gryffindor table, for there they ate as Kings. The food was steaming, and the best stories were told. Dinner was taken at the Ravenclaw table, because the Ravenclaw had the healthiest possible choices for pre-sleeping and energy for the next day. (Also, by this time, most Ravenclaws had loosened up. Don't tell anyone though!)

The Slytherin table was always cold, with frigid food and prissy people. Jaron, even though he had a lot of the Slytherin traits, was usually highly annoyed and/or willing to murder to get out of the position. In first year, his first class he had with the Hufflepuff house - Herbology, of course - almost every snake was surprised at the bubbly badger that appeared by his side, and even more shocked at the fact that they were having a pleasant conversation.

The group of four sat down, watching the jumping bean that was Sevan.

"When's our 'internet' trip, Sev," asked Emmanuel. He slapped a hand in front of them on the table. Something that Gabe and Emmanuel both did to get Sevan's undivided, and all-knowing attention. "I was writing my babes, and didn't hear it."

"I think it's either next week or the week after? All I know is that we have to pack our bags for the entire weekend and make sure our wands are either hidden well or charmed into something else," Sevan informed the boy, looking thoughtfully towards the ceiling. "Anyways," they shook their head from side to side, shaking their thoughts away. "Did any of you see Jaron this morning?" Everyone shook their heads, having not seen the boy in the halls. A few minutes later, the door opened and Jaron strolled in at the slowest possible speed. Sevan wanted to actually, finally _eat_ , so they moved towards the snake, pulling and pushing, but ultimately achieving nothing.

"UGH JARON MOVE YOUR LEGS GOD," Sevan yelled over to the boy, refusing to start breakfast without the boy. Sevan's arm were thrown into the air in exasperation, watching the male _deliberately slow his ass down_. "FUCK YOU. GET. OVER. HERE." Sevan stood up and stomped over to the olive-skinned guy, fiercely trying to pull him over to the table.

They weren't doing anything.

Sevan's small body pushed against Jaron's back, finally making progress in their journey. "YOU STUPID BRAT," Sevan grunt-screamed, not caring for the stares the two were receiving from the Slytherin tables.

After that incident, the time for school came sooner than expected. Emmanuel said his farewells with the rest of the squad, Sevan especially. As usual, to his left and right were his boyfriends. Together, they had potions. Despite Emmanuel being only a fourth year, he was in the twin's potions level. For he was in advanced classes.

"Great, nice, perfect. We gotta put up with _Leah_ ," Emmanuel sneered in absolute abhorrence of his longtime enemy's name.

"It's okay darling-"

"We only have for this hour, and even though we know it won't happen-"

"Hopefully she won't have her stick up her arse!" The twins grinned towards each other as the three reached the Potions room.

As usual, Emmanuel body slammed his back on the potions room door. Once inside, the triad romance remained close until the bell rung. The mentioned Leah was close, for Emmanuel smelled the sulphur coming from her cloven hooves. Leah was hated for many reasons, but to put it lightly, she was the female Draco. Just much more annoying, immature, and extremely set in her Wizarding-Catholic ways.

The two enemies locked eyes. Emmanuel averted his gaze quickly, and tightened his grip on his identical lovers.

At once, the bell rang and everyone dropped to their seats. Emmanuel kissed his two lovers and told his farewells until after class. He retreated to the other side of the room.

Leah and Emmanuel were arranged to sit next to each other. Emmanuel's lovers longed to be beside him - as did he. Or possibly switch off days, nobody would know the difference. But Snape feared terrible things for Emmanuel. His most prized advanced pupil would be tainted by their companionship! He would be corrupted by those no good tricksters!

Of course he was clueless to the three's relationship, even when all of them specifically asked for such an arrangement to take place. One day, that dream would come true.

Leah smirked teasingly as they all took their seats. As she always does. Her master-race blue eyes reflected and danced with the intention of ridiculing him.

"Good morning, _Emma_ ," Leah purred quietly, soaking, bathing his dead name in pure mockery.

Emmanuel ignored her, a skill he acquired over years of constant harassment.

"What, aren't you polite enough to respond, _Emma_?"

Nothing. No reply, you jackass.

"Fine, I don't give a rat's ass about you either, goddamn tranny."

Emmanuel tried his hardest to not downright punch Leah in her stupid squirrel teeth that her white little lips couldn't cover. But Emmanuel only laughed, noticing how forced it sounded when Leah swore. It didn't seem to merge with her sentence, and stuck out like a sore thumb.

Only a gargle of a giggle escaped his mouth. Just enough to set the Gryffindor off.

"What's so funny, he-she?!" Leah narrowed her eyes at him, whilst hurling insult after insult, about him not being an actual boy. Calling him Pinocchio, stuff like that.

Sure, Emmanuel was agitated, yet he remained amused by her stupidity.

"Miss Lillge," Snape called the bully out. She shrunk down, pulling her folded hands up to her chin. She made her eyes look wide and innocent. How disgusting, Leah's immaturity leads her to create a blameless facade, one to cover up a fucking hateful beast. A racist, transphobic, hyper-religious, magic-elitist, unloving beast.

It makes Emmanuel sick. Or anyone who knows how Leah works.

Snape looked down at her, with his usual intimidating expressionless face.

"Y-yes, sir?" Even her fake, squeaky-clean-pure voice is painful to listen to.

"Please, do enlighten me on why it is that Emmanuel's diligence as a student, is so much more interesting than predicting the Nervosa potion's hue."

Leah daintily stuck a finger to her chin. "Oh, _she_ didn't understand a thing you were saying, professor. I was only explaining what you meant."

Emmanuel turned to look at her with the most blank, deadpanest face imaginable.

This told his boyfriends, who were looking in curiously, that Emmanuel was about to lose it.

"You messed up," said Fred.

"Big time," said George.

Emmanuel took one breath inwards before screaming: "YOU FUCKING LIAR, I'M SO SICK OF YOUR SHIT!" He burst from his seat, knocking the chair down. Getting everyone's attention who weren't looking before.

Snape didn't bother to step in, he didn't want to admit it, but he wanted to see the outcome.

" _W-well, you're a girl!_ "

Everyone went dead silent. They held their breaths. A shadow crossed Emmanuel's face.

"Oh, shoot-" Leah couldn't finish her whimper.

Her arms were pulled to make her fall forward, but Emmanuel spun her whole entire body horizontally. She was off the ground. Leah was only a thin, spinning blur. A ridiculously fast blur! Then Emmanuel made a battle cry, before he did a frighteningly strong karate chop to the dead middle of Leah's spine. It snapped her whole figure in half. A rather loud crunching sound could be heard. This fucking epic attack rendered Leah to end up slamming her V-shaped body to the ground.

Sevan's head popped into the room, and in the dead silence of the room, everyone could hear, " _Fatality_ ," and footsteps frantically running back to their own class. Emmanuel dusted off his hands and turned his chair upright.

Class proceeded as normal.


End file.
